This was my week for the dreaded “R” word. Rejected twice in seven days. I thought I’d chat about about how that makes me feel and what I’ll be doing about it. Maybe you all can relate and it will give you a boost to know that you’re not alone.
People who experienced rejection as more painful were more likely to change their behavior, remain in the tribe, and pass along their genes.
Guy Winch
I’ll start by saying that this whole fiction writing journey has been a complete surprise and only started three years ago. I’ve been a steamroller ever since. That is the most surprising part because most of my life I’ve been a dabbler. I love to create, but I’ve never stuck with any one thing long enough to become expert.
I’m now a bulldog about a craft I’ve developed a surprising passion for… in my 50s. What? How did that happen? I’ll get it into the idea of late-blooming passions more in a future article. Today, I’m focusing on dealing with rejection.
Photo Credit: The Spruce Pets
So, when the results go unseen, unappreciated, or are outright rejected, the feelings go deep, right to the gut. Maybe that was why I always dabbled. No risk. Well, I’m opening myself up to all the poundings now… and having the time of my life.
Both of these rejections I’d prepared myself for and even planned my next steps. Doing this I was sure would help me cope with the blow. It does, and it doesn’t, and I’ll tell you why.
First. It was still a gut punch.
This TED article provides the reasons why we feel rejection so deeply. So, I’ll point you to it because you really need to read it and it explains things much better than I can.
As for me, I really thought that I wouldn’t feel rejection as deeply in my 50s, convinced life experience, maturity, whatever you want to call it, would be my buffer. Instead, my first reaction when I get that “Thank you for your submission to… Unfortunately…” message is to cry and rant.
Then my jaw juts out and my backup plans kick into action. But the plans don’t go forward in a vacuum. Each rejection is a major learning experience. I love to learn, and I love to apply it to my work. It proves just as Mr. Winch describes in his article, that pain equals survival. It’s motivation. It changes behavior. And leads to success. Just be open to the idea that success comes in all sorts of ways each time you push through another rejection.
So, I guess what I’m trying to say is that the pain is short-lived. I waist little time before turning back into a steamroller, and I can move on with honing my craft. And that’s why I’m enjoying the heck out of this ride.
By D. L. Lewellyn 